With one strange twist of fate, my life was changed,,,
This morning, when I woke and saw the sun mocking me, I
realized what a National Football League running back must feel as he heads
toward the defensive line. Don't get me wrong. There isn't a three hundred and
fifty pound opponent of unnerving muscle waiting for me, but a petite and sweet
one hundred and ten pound dynamo that I call daughter. It goes to show that all
things in life aren't of the physical realm. One can get trampled and mangled
in life without once having a bruise to show. Despite recent events, deep
inside I still have hope that life isn't made only of slings and arrows. I'm
just not ready for another day to slay the dragons again. My mind ponders the
state of my life and how it has arrived at this chaotic state. Am I only moving
within "life" and in fact being operated by the vengeful and barely caring
gods? Try as I might, it seems I can only slightly alter my life's path. I
remember a time when the important thing in my life was wondering whether I
might make it through that mud puddle down the dirt road while remaining atop
my bike. I miss those days.
I rise and follow her down stairs. Picking up the paper, I
read about yesterday's football game. What a sad and depressing game it was. If
my life is anything like my favorite team, it makes me wonder at the futility
of my existence. Twelve points ahead in the fourth quarter. Then, those two
fumbles take all thought of winning right out the window.
Somewhere, somehow, I also seem to have fumbled the ball of life. I'm glad I don't have pizza left over from
that game. Who would want to finish yesterday's stale leftovers
and be reminded of how horribly games can end. To again show me what little
control I have over the small things in my life?
Never mind the large things...like Child Sexual Assault.
The sexual abuse of a child creates a devastating family
crisis. Parents want to know what to do and say to help their child but
they also want to know how to respond to and heal their own emotional
turmoil. As a parent, you need to know it's okay and natural to act with
disbelief and denial.
This is my story, a mothe's story, about the abuse of my
daughter and my struggles to over come. I thought I could trust my family
members. I thought I knew and could trust the legal system. I was wrong.
This is my journey, my lost "game", and my steps
toward recovery. Some how, some way, I hope it gives you hope for your
journey as well.
