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How to help a friend
 
Most rape victims are suffering from PTSD which makes them extremely dissoriented.  At this stage they may do or say things which don't seem to make sense.  They are often unable to function on a level at which they can help themselves. 
It is crucial that those around them educate themselves to recognize the symptoms and help them get treatment.  The links below will help you begin to understand and help your loved ones.
 
http://wc.studentaffairs.duke.edu/sasshthaf.html
How to help a friend- basic information
 
 
http://www.gmu.edu/facstaff/sexual/effects_of_assault.html#common
What can you expect after a person has been raped?
In most cases these symptoms prevent rape victims from functioning at full capacity and helping themselves.  It’s important at this time for others to give their support and help protect them.
 
 
Coping and Reactions - Rape Trauma Syndrome.  What to expect from an assault survivor. 
 
 
 http://www.hopeforhealing.org/friend.html
How to help rape victims and the stages of trauma.
This site was recommended by the founder of hope for healing (on a message board) with the advice that you can also order a paper copy.
 
http://www.rainn.org/whatshould.html
RAINN how to help rape victims. How can I help a friend who has been sexually assaulted?

http://members.tripod.com/lmsurratt/
Understanding Rape
This site is an excellent source of objective information on rape.  It has a focus on date rape but gives a good over view.  The format is that of a pathfinder.
"Rape is a complex experience. The therapist, of a survivor of rape, should be aware of different factors that shape the survivor’s experience. However, the therapist must not only view the survivor in the context of the individual, but also in the context of community.  It is an injustice to survivors, to not become aware of the societal and experiential determinants that shape the reactions of a survivor."

http://www.hopeforhealing.org/not.html
What not to say to a rape victim.

http://www.hopeforhealing.org/prevention
Rape prevention- contains links to several sites with suggestions and information.
 
The following sites were researched after I came to the conclusion that no one is going to listen if we say "stop raping" to a bunch of grown adults.  The change needs to occur in childhood.  Kids need to learn that over powering people smaller than you isn't cool it's pathetic.  These sites help parents teach children respect for women (the opposite of what they are currently learning).  The audio samples are particularly interesting.  They are public service announcements you can download and play for your kids.
 
http://endabuse.org/programs/display.php3?DocID=9916
End Abuse Campaigns: Reaching Men
Coaching Boys into Men
Boys are swamped with influences outside of the home – from friends, the neighborhood, television, the internet, music, the movies… everything they see around them. They hear all kinds of messages about what it means to “be a man” – that they have to be tough and in control. There are numerous conflicting and some harmful messages being given to boys about what constitutes “being a man” in a relationship. So teach boys early, and teach them often, that there is no place for violence in a relationship.
http://endabuse.org/programs/printable/display.php3?DocID=9902
audio for endabuse adds to train boys not to abuse women.
 
http://www.healthy-dating.com/
program on rape education on middle and high schools
 

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